See You…in September!

By Helen Currie Foster

It’s September! New school year! New shoes, after a hot barefoot summer! New outfit, for the first day of school! And then––new classes! New subjects, new teachers, new tools! New friends! New lockers, new classrooms, new hallways…. New season—new teammates, new coach, new plays.

Remember all that?  Your first day back at school? Back to college, back to university? Do you remember the excitement, the nervousness, the anticipation?

September 1 was  Labor Day. And now there will be apples, apple pie and apple crisp. There will be chrysanthemums, spilling out of baskets. Even in central Texas, leaves will change color—as Maxwell Anderson’s lyrics have it, “When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame.” Here in the Hill Country, sumac and Spanish oak turn red, sweet gum turns yellow. No, not the glory of the maples, but a change in the landscape. Because finally, after the dog days of summer, that’s what September brings: something new.

It’s time to pull up the tired summer flowers and thank them for their service. Time to dig some holes and plant new trees, and order some bulbs. I’ll be planting the Mexican plum seedlings a friend gave me, and ordering narcissus bulbs for indoor blooming.

Then the Hill Country brings its own fall excitement. Dove season began  September 1 and a down-the-road neighbor, disturbed by shotgun pellets clattering onto her roof, had to call the sheriff, and have officers explain to a clueless (thoughtless? lawless?) neighbor that it’s contrary to law to allow your ammunition to cross your own fence line. Also unneighborly. But hmm, that could find its way into a future book plot….

Our Hill Country holds surprises. One is the way water hides in the Hill Country—down in secret seeps and creeks, around curves and hollows. And what odd creatures live out here! For example, this fall we’ve seen again the rare and secretive rock squirrel. (We’ve seen a solitary rock squirrel only once every few years.)  We’ve heard the great horned owls that call at night, up and down the creek, and the herons who call, flying down the valley. The buzzards drone, annoyingly, from the tops of telephone poles. We treasure glimpses of the shy, gorgeous painted buntings who appear briefly at the bird feeder, then flit away. Porcupines visit. Roadrunners dart across the road.

And the dog days are over. (This year they were July 3-11, and these hot sultry days have borne their name from ancient times ostensibly because it’s when Sirius, the Dog Star that accompanies Orion, rises with the sun.) https://www.almanac.com/content/what-are-dog-days-summer

But during the dog days I took refuge at night, binge-reading two mystery series that were new to me, by British author Peter Grainger: the DC Smith Investigation series and the Kings Lake Investigation. http://bit.ly/4gmPsad

These wry British procedurals are set on the coast of Norfolk, providing a cool and rainy ocean-side backdrop for the appealing characters. At least I could read about rain and cool breezes. But the books offered not only a respite from ridiculous heat, but a welcome respite from writing. I’ve been in the last weeks of finishing Ghost Justice—Book 10 in my Alice MacDonald Mystery Series, set here in the Texas Hill Country. For me that process includes waking in the wee hours with my mind on plot additions and subtractions, dialogue, characters. For such moments—when the characters wake me up at night voicing their further demands (yes, they seem to come to life and require conversation and attention)––I find mysteries provide absorbing distraction.

And now – Watch for Ghost Justice this week!  https://amzn.to/4pk8WQO

Helen Currie Foster lives and writes the Alice MacDonald Greer Mystery series north of Dripping Springs, Texas, loosely supervised by three burros. She’s drawn to the compelling landscape and quirky characters of the Texas Hill Country. She’s also deeply curious about our human history and how, uninvited, the past keeps crashing th eparty. Follow her at http://www.helencurriefoster.com.

Sea Shelves by the Seashore 

An Interview with Myra Barreiro

By Laura Oles

If your idea of the perfect vacation getaway includes time on the beach, a bookstore visit and a coffee shop stop, then I have the perfect place for you. Coffee Waves is one of my regular stops when visiting the island, and on a recent weekend trip, I pulled into the parking lot and found my dream come true—a new bookstore! 

I’ve long believed that Coffee Waves was the perfect place to host a bookstore. The shop has a substantial nook with welcoming open arches and enough room to browse, sip and read. This area is now home to Sea Shelves by the Seashore. As I took time to scan the shelves, I was impressed with the varied selection and thoughtful choices offered. I felt the selection reflected a love of books and a mission to offer a wide range of options to readers of all ages. It was also a lovely surprise to find my Jamie Rush novels on the shelf!

I had the good fortune to meet the owner, Myra Barreiro, on a recent visit and enjoyed getting to know her. I wanted to learn more about her background and her journey in bringing Sea Shelves to life. When I invited her to share her story with Austin Mystery Writers, she was gracious with her time. Below is our conversation:

LO:  Hi Myra!  Thank you so much for speaking with us. Please share a bit about yourself.

MB: Hi! My name is Myra. I have lived in Port Aransas for four years but have been visiting for 13. I grew up in Mineral Wells, Texas. In the time between graduating high school and opening my own bookstore, I have served 4 years in the United States Army as an Intelligence Analyst, worked for Lockheed Martin for 7 years (also as an Intelligence Analyst), graduated from Sam Houston State University with a Bachelor’s degree of Science in Public Health, and–most recently–helped manage and run two local shops for several years in Port Aransas. I have two extremely smart and handsome boys, a dog named Kahlua, and a black cat named Michael B. Kitty… that’s what I call him, but he has several names.

LO: Many people dream of one day opening a bookstore. What made you decide to bring this idea to reality?

MB: It’s funny how opening a bookstore seems to be a dream for many. I am very happy to have had the chance to turn my dream into a reality. So, as mentioned before, I was helping to manage two local shops, and had been doing so for a while, but it was time for me to move on and create something for myself, something I thought this community desperately needed. I had been dreaming about opening a bookstore on the island for several years, and stepping away from my previous position allowed me to move forward with that dream.

LO: I’ve always thought the back lounge area of Coffee Waves was the perfect location for a bookstore or reading area. How did this relationship come about and how long did it take?

MB: When I decided I was going to make this bookstore dream happen, finding the perfect location was pretty high up on my list of priorities. I drove all around the island looking for properties or buildings, units with potential. I asked realtor friends if they had any info on empty commercial spaces, but nothing piqued my interest. There were spaces, but they were either already under contract or not in the right location, weren’t the right size, and out of my price range. I started to think my dream would remain just that, a dream. I almost gave up until I started thinking on a smaller scale. I had a crazy idea to maybe ask other businesses if they wouldn’t mind letting me take up a bit of their space. Set up shop in an existing shop. I wondered if that was a thing, so I did a search on the internet and sure enough, it was something that was happening all over. I took some notes. Wrote out pros and cons and key things to bring up while talking to businesses to get them onboard with the idea. After researching a bit more, I started a list of potential businesses that might be willing to let me move forward with the idea of putting a bookstore inside of their existing shop. 

Naturally, Coffee Waves was at the top of my list. Who doesn’t love a good book with a cup of coffee? And they have that overflow seating area?? It seemed like the perfect place to make it happen. I came in and asked if I could schedule a meeting with someone to discuss the idea. We scheduled a meeting, met up, and I pitched my idea. I said, “I don’t want to take away from your seating, I just want to occupy your wall space.” They mulled it over for about a week and decided to give me the green light! I was so unbelievably elated until I realized I had about 2 weeks to get this dream up and running before the chaos of Spring Break! I immediately placed an order for shelving and my first book order and haven’t stopped since.

LO:  You’ve done a wonderful job of curating both titles and genres. Can you share a bit more about how you choose what to carry?

MB: I receive recommendations every now and then of specific titles or authors, but the curation of titles has been mostly research. When I initially thought of opening a bookstore, I wanted to focus solely on beach, island, small fishing town, and vacation themed reads, but not everyone is into that and I wanted to give people options, so I started researching. What were people reading in 2024? What are they looking forward to reading in 2025? Best-selling genres? What are the top favorites and must-read titles of all time? Favorite classics? What’s trending on BookTok? I took my findings and curated what you’ve seen in the bookstore and continue to add to it every week.

LO:  What do you love to read? And has opening Sea Shelves impacted your reading in any way?

MB: My favorite genres are psychological thrillers, mystery, and horror. I’m drawn to scary stories with twist endings and stories that make you think. 

If opening the store has had any impact on my reading, I would have to say that I am now more willing to read and am interested in reading genres outside of my favorites. Thrillers will probably always be my favorite, but I’ve come to appreciate and enjoy reading other genres as well. I have over 1200 titles on the sea shelves and would love to get through them all. Maybe one day I will(:

LO: I met Beatrice when purchasing a book during my last visit.  Please tell us about her.

Meet Beatrice!

MB: I’m jealous she had the chance to meet you before I did.

Beatrice is amazing. Hardest working employee I have. She’s great. Since not taking away from the coffee shop’s seating was a big selling point in setting up the bookstore here, the books are out and exposed during the coffee shop’s business hours, 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. As much as I’d love to be at the bookstore all day, I have other responsibilities outside of the shop that need my attention, and sometimes I just need to step away for a quick lunch or to run a quick errand. That’s where Beatrice comes in. She holds it down while I’m away. It was an easy decision to set up a self-checkout option, giving customers the ability to make a purchase even if I was not physically present. Customers seem to love having the option to checkout with Beatrice, and I think giving her a name makes the experience a little more personable for them. Definitely a great addition to the bookstore.

LO: Anything else you’d like to share? 

MB: I would just like to say that this entire experience of opening a bookstore has been a roller coaster ride and a dream come true. I encourage anyone who has the same dream to go for it if they are ever presented with the opportunity. Taking the first step will be scary but definitely worth it.

I would also like to thank Coffee Waves Port Aransas for giving me a chance to live out my dream in their space, and Laura Oles for this interview and giving me the opportunity to share my story.

LO: Thanks so much, Myra, for sharing how Sea Shelves started as a dream and became a reality. I know Sea Shelves is quickly becoming a favorite of locals and visitors.

***

Some readers may know that my mystery series is set in a fictional version of Port Aransas. Maybe Jamie and Cookie will make a stop into Sea Shelves one day? Jamie’s always on the lookout for an Elmore Leonard novel, and I know she’d love this place.

Laura Oles is the award-winning author of the Jamie Rush mystery series. Her work has appeared in crime fiction anthologies, consumer magazines and business publications. Her debut mystery, Daughters of Bad Men, was an Agatha nominee, a Claymore Award finalist, and a Writers’ League of Texas Award finalist. Depths of Deceit, her second novel, was named Best Mystery by Indies Today. She loves road trips, bookstores and any outdoor activity that doesn’t involve running.She lives in the Texas Hill Country with her family. (https://lauraoles.com

The Upside of Resistance

 Productive Procrastination for Creatives

Most writers battle resistance from time to time, and it comes in many forms. Maybe you’re working on a project with a looming deadline, which is the perfect time to clean your kitchen.

Just ask Agatha Christie.

“The best time for planning a book is when you’re doing the dishes.”—Agatha Christie

I realize I’m bending her quote to serve my purposes, but who am I to argue with greatness?

© agathachristie.com

My most recent battle with resistance happened yesterday. After being away from a project too long due to other writing deadlines, I struggled to find my groove, which culminated in my spending nine hours trying to get my arms around a manuscript. My characters refused to behave, and a section of the second act sagged like a neglected hundred-year roof. The final pin dropped in the form of my losing several thousand words due to some sort of file syncing error. I’d spent all day trying to nail Jello to the wall and wondering why it refused to stick. 

I called my sister-in-law, who sagely suggested I needed to step away from my computer. Get some fresh air, go for a walk. I felt a bit better after but still defeated. I spent the rest of the evening with the gritty dust of failure stuck to my skin. I then reminded myself that this, too, is part of the process. The only way out is through. Tomorrow is another day.

I decided to start this morning with some writer support. After a two mile walk while listening to Brandon Sanderson discuss writing with Tim Ferris, I then read J.T. Ellison’s Substack on resistance. There was something about listening to other authors discuss their craft and the struggles that come with it that helped me refocus with a fresh perspective (and an attitude adjustment, which was sorely needed. I was very salty).

If you’re struggling with any sort of creative project, consider taking respite by listening to other creatives discuss how they do their thing.  Here are a few of my favorites:

The Tim Ferriss Show: Episode #794: Brandon Sanderson on Building a Fiction Empire… 

Buckle up, loves, because this episode is 3.5 hours long. It took me several walks and cleaning sessions to get through it, but I promise it’s jam packed with some fantastic advice and discussion related to both the art and business of writing. Few writers have accomplished what Brandon has while also so freely sharing his expertise with others.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zzzjLKuFZA

Work Life with Adam Grant: Your Insecurities Aren’t What You Think They Are

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist with a curiosity superpower that translates into countless benefits for his audience.  His WorkLife podcast is a regular listen in my feed. This episode is also how I found Taylor Tomlinson, which some might think is a strange way to discover a comedian.  Their discussion about how to handle insecurities when your job is centered largely on external feedback and validation (hello, writers!) is one that you may listen to more than once. 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/worklife-with-adam-grant/id1346314086?i=1000523780269

J.T. Ellison Substack: The Creative Edge

If you’re a Substack fan, I highly recommend giving J.T Ellison’s newsletter a read. She gives us an inside look at her life as a bestselling author juggling multiple projects for both traditional publishers as well as her own imprint. Her advice is practical and specific, and she mixes in a generous amount of empathy. Here’s the post that pulled me out of my latest bout of writing resistance.

https://jtellison.substack.com/p/interim-step-two-facing-down-resistance

#AmWriting: Substack and Podcast

The author collective of the #AmWriting enterprise deliver some of the best stories, guidance, and interviews related to the business and craft of writing. Regardless of genre or publishing preference, they have you covered.  Their Substack is well organized and offers tons of shovels to help you dig yourself out of any writing hole you currently find yourself stuck in. 

https://amwriting.substack.com

James Clear: Atomic Habits and Newsletter

As someone who receives far too emails, James Clear’s newsletter is the rare one that I make sure to read as soon as it hits my inbox.  His 3-2-1 format (three ideas, two quotes and one question to consider) are thoughtfully considered. Every issue provides a valuable takeaway, and his recent Master Class covers the concepts he outlines in his mega-bestseller Atomic Habits.  Here’s what he shares with us about resistance:

“If you feel resistance before you begin, it’s usually procrastination and you need to get started.  If you feel resistance after you begin, it’s usually feedback and you need to make adjustments.”

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Jiro Ono is an 85-year-old sushi chef and proprietor of Sukiyabashi Jiro, a 10-seat restaurant located in a Tokyo subway station. Some of the top critics believe he is the world’s greatest sushi chef. This documentary follows his passion for continued mastery even at what he sees as the final years of his career.  “A thoughtful and elegant mediation on work, family and the art of perfection, chronicling Jiro’s life as both an unparalleled success in the culinary world, and a loving yet complicated father.”

I discovered this documentary after my last visit to Japan and was moved by both the constant pursuit of mastery as well as the price it exacts on those closest to him.

I’d like to leave you with a quote that I revisit so often that I should have it tattooed on my forehead. 

“If I waited for perfection, I’d never write a word.”—Margaret Atwood

The world needs your stories more than ever, so I hope that if you’re battling resistance, you’ll find some support from the creative community. Storytelling, at its heart, should be something we enjoy, and if it isn’t bringing that to you right now, I hope it soon returns. And when it does, readers will be waiting for you.

–Laura Oles (https://lauraoles.com) is the award-winning author of the Jamie Rush mystery series. Her debut mystery, Daughters of Bad Men, was an Agatha nominee, a Claymore Award finalist, and a Writers’ League of Texas Award finalist. Depths of Deceit, her second novel, was named Best Mystery by Indies Today. Her novella, Last Call, won the Silver Falchion award. Her work has appeared in crime fiction anthologies, consumer magazines and business publications. She lives in the Texas Hill Country with her family.

A Mind Unhinged

 

Posted by Kathy Waller

So you start writing your post about the incomparable Josephine Tey’s mystery novels two weeks before it’s due but don’t finish, and then you forget, and a colleague reminds you, but the piece refuses to come together, and the day it’s due, it’s still an embarrassment, and the next day it’s not much better, and you decide, Oh heck, at this point what’s one more day? and you go to bed,

and in the middle of the night you wake to find twenty pounds of cat using you as a mattress, and you know you might as well surrender, because getting him off is like moving Jello with your bare hands,

Elisabet Ney: Lady Macbeth, Detail

Elisabet Ney: Lady Macbeth, Detail (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Attribution: Ingrid Fisch at the German language Wikipedia.  GNU_Free_Documentation_License

so you lie there staring at what would be the ceiling if you could see it, and you think, Macbeth doth murder sleep…. Macbeth shall sleep no more,

and then you think about Louisa May Alcott writing, She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain,

and you realize your own brain has not only turned, but has possibly come completely unhinged.

And you can’t get back to sleep, so you lie there thinking, Books, books, books. Strings and strings of words, words, words. Why do we write them, why do we read them? What are they all for?

And you remember when you were two years old, and you parroted, from memory, because you’d heard it so many times,

The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat,

because happiness was rhythm and rime.

And when you were five and your playmate didn’t want to hear you read “Angus and the Cat,” and you made her sit still and listen anyway.

And when you were sixteen and so happy all you could think was, O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!, and you didn’t know who wrote it but you remembered the line from a Kathy Martin book you got for Christmas when you were ten.

And when you were tramping along down by the river and a narrow fellow in the grass slithered by too close, and you felt a tighter breathing, and zero at the bone.

And when you woke early to a rosy-fingered dawn and thought

By Dana Ross Martin, (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), via flickr

By Dana Ross Martin, (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

I’ll tell you how the sun rose,
A ribbon at a time,
The steeples swam in Amethyst
The news, like Squirrels, ran –
The Hills untied their Bonnets –

And when you saw cruelty and injustice, and you remembered, Perfect love casts out fear, and knew fear rather than hate is the source of inhumanity, and love, the cure.

And when your father died unexpectedly, and you foresaw new responsibilities, and you remembered,

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise.

And when your mother died, and you thought,

Oh, if instead she’d left to me
The thing she took into the grave!-
That courage like a rock, which she
Has no more need of, and I have.

Fentress United Methodist Church. © Kathy Waller

Fentress United Methodist Church. © Kathy Waller

And at church the day after your father’s funeral, when your cousins, who were officially middle-aged and should have known how to behave, sat on the front row and dropped a hymnbook, and something stuck you in the side and you realized that when you mended a seam in your dress that morning you left the needle just hanging there and you were in danger of being punctured at every move, and somehow everything the minister said struck you as funny, and the whole family chose to displace stress by laughing throughout the service, and you were grateful for Mark Twain’s observations that

Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it … we have to join in, there is no help for it,

and that, 

Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand.

And when you fell in love and married and said with the poet, My beloved is mine and I am his.

And when, before you walked down the aisle, you handed a bridesmaid a slip of paper on which you’d written, Fourscooooorrrrrrre…, so that while you said, “I do,” she would be thinking of Mayor Shinn’s repeated attempts to recite the Gettysburg Address at River City’s July 4th celebration, and would be trying so hard not to laugh that she would forget to cry.

And when your friend died before you were ready and left an unimaginable void, and life was unfair, and you remembered that nine-year-old Leslie fell and died trying to reach the imaginary kingdom of Terabithia, and left Jess to grieve but also to pass on the love she’d shown him.

And when the doctor said you have an illness and the outlook isn’t good, and you thought of Dr. Bernie Siegal’s writing, Do not accept that you must die in three weeks or six months because someone’s statistics say you will… Individuals are not statistics, but you also remembered what Hamlet says to Horatio just before his duel with Laertes,

There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come—the readiness is all.

And by the time you’ve thought all that, you’ve come back to what you knew all along, that books exist for pleasure, for joy, for consolation and comfort, for courage, for showing us that others have been here before, have seen what we see, felt what we feel, shared needs and wants and dreams we think belong only to us, that

Photograph of Helen Keller at age 8 with her t...

Photograph of Helen Keller at age 8 with her tutor Anne Sullivan on vacation in Brewster, Cape Cod, Massachusetts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

everything the earth is full of… everything on it that’s ours for a wink and it’s gone, and what we are on it, the—light we bring to it and leave behind in—words, why, you can see five thousand years back in a light of words, everything we feel, think, know—and share, in words, so not a soul is in darkness, or done with, even in the grave.

And about the time you have settled the question to your satisfaction, the twenty pounds of Jello slides off, and you turn over, and he stretches out and leans so firmly against your back that you end up wedged between him and your husband, who is now clinging to the edge of  the bed, as sound asleep as the Jello is, and as you’re considering your options, you think,

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
   In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
   Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
   And sang to a small guitar…

and by the time the Pussycat and the Elegant Fowl have been married by the Turkey who lives on the hill, and have eaten their wedding breakfast with a runcible spoon, and are dancing by the light of the moon, the moon, you’ve decided that a turned brain has its advantages, and that re-hinging will never be an option.

***

20 pounds of cat. © Kathy Waller

20 pounds of cat. © Kathy Waller

***

Sources:

http://nfs.sparknotes.com/macbeth/page_58.html
https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1315.Louisa_May_Alcott
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171941
http://www.vintagechildrensbooksmykidloves.com/2009/06/angus-and-cat.html
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/182477
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epithets_in_Homer
http://biblehub.com/1_john/4-18.htm
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2002/10/15
http://www.twainquotes.com/Laughter.html
http://biblehub.com/songs/2-16.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Music_Man_(1962_film)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridge_to_Terabithia_(novel)
http://www.shareguide.com/Siegel.html
http://nfs.sparknotes.com/hamlet/page_320.html
http://www.shorewood.k12.wi.us/page.cfm?p=3642

***

“A Mind Unhinged” appeared on Austin Mystery Writers on February 25, 2016.

***

Kathy Waller [M. K. Waller] writes crime fiction, literary fiction, humor, memoir, and whatever else comes to mind. Her latest story, “Mine Eyes Dazzle,” which appears in Dark of the Day, was mentioned by Robert Lopresti as “The best mystery story I read this week” (Little Big Crimes, May 12, 2024).

Other short stories appear in anthologies: the Silver Falchion Award winner Murder on Wheels, Lone Star Lawless, and Day of the Dark, as well as online. She is co-author, with Manning Wolfe, of the novella STABBED,

Memories of growing up in a small town on the San Marcos River in Central Texas, and life in a large extended family, inspire much of her work. She now lives in Austin.

She blogs at Telling the Truth–Mainly. Find her on Facebook and on Amazon.

A Mind Unhinged

Posted by Kathy Waller

So you start writing your post about the incomparable Josephine Tey’s mystery novels two weeks before it’s due but don’t finish, and then you forget, and a colleague reminds you, but the piece refuses to come together, and the day it’s due it’s still an embarrassment, and the next day it’s not much better, and you decide, Oh heck, at this point what’s one more day? and you go to bed,

and in the middle of the night you wake to find twenty pounds of cat using you as a mattress, and you know you might as well surrender, because getting him off is like moving Jello with your bare hands,

Elisabet Ney: Lady Macbeth, Detail

Elisabet Ney: Lady Macbeth, Detail (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Attribution: Ingrid Fisch at the German language Wikipedia.  GNU_Free_Documentation_License

so you lie there staring at what would be the ceiling if you could see it, and you think, Macbeth doth murder sleep…. Macbeth shall sleep no more,

and then you think about Louisa May Alcott writing, She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain,

and you realize your own brain has not only turned, but has possibly come completely unhinged.

And you can’t get back to sleep, so you lie there thinking, Books, books, books. Strings and strings of words, words, words. Why do we write them, why do we read them? What are they all for?

And you remember when you were two years old, and you parroted,

The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat,

because happiness was rhythm and rime.

And later when your playmate didn’t want to hear you read “Angus and the Cat,” and you made her sit still and listen anyway.

And when you were fourteen and so happy all you could think was, O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!, and you didn’t know who wrote it but you remembered the line from a Kathy Martin book you got for Christmas when you were ten.

And when you were tramping along down by the river and a narrow fellow in the grass slithered by too close, and you felt a tighter breathing, and zero at the bone.

And when you woke early to a rosy-fingered dawn and thought

By Dana Ross Martin, (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), via flickr

By Dana Ross Martin, (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

I’ll tell you how the sun rose,
A ribbon at a time,
The steeples swam in Amethyst
The news, like Squirrels, ran –
The Hills untied their Bonnets –

And when you saw cruelty and injustice, and you remembered, Perfect love casts out fear, and knew fear rather than hate as the source of inhumanity, and love, the cure.

And when your father died unexpectedly, and you foresaw new responsibilities, and you remembered,

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise.

And when your mother died, and you thought,

Oh, if instead she’d left to me
The thing she took into the grave!-
That courage like a rock, which she
Has no more need of, and I have.

Fentress United Methodist Church. © Kathy Waller

Fentress United Methodist Church. © Kathy Waller

And at church the day after your father’s funeral, when your cousins, who were officially middle-aged and should have known how to behave, sat on the front row and dropped a hymnbook, and something stuck you in the side and you realized that when you mended a seam in your dress that morning you left the needle just hanging there and you were in danger of being punctured at every move, and somehow everything the minister said struck you as funny, and the whole family chose to displace stress by laughing throughout the service, and you were grateful for Mark Twain’s observations that

Laughter which cannot be suppressed is catching. Sooner or later it washes away our defences, and undermines our dignity, and we join in it … we have to join in, there is no help for it,

and that, 

Against the assault of Laughter nothing can stand.

And when you fell in love and married and said with the poet, My beloved is mine and I am his.

And when, before you walked down the aisle, you handed a bridesmaid a slip of paper on which you’d written, Fourscooooorrrrrrre…, so that while you said, “I do,” she would be thinking of Mayor Shinn’s repeated attempts to recite the Gettysburg Address at River City’s July 4th celebration, and would be trying so hard not to laugh that she would forget to cry.

And when your friend died before you were ready and left an unimaginable void, and life was unfair, and you remembered that nine-year-old Leslie fell and died trying to reach the imaginary kingdom of Terabithia, and left Jess to grieve but to also to pass on the love she’d shown him.

And when the doctor said you have an illness and the outlook isn’t good, and you thought of Dr. Bernie Siegal’s writing, Do not accept that you must die in three weeks or six months because someone’s statistics say you will… Individuals are not statistics, but you also remembered what Hamlet says to Horatio just before his duel with Laertes,

There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come—the readiness is all.

And by the time you’ve thought all that, you’ve come back to what you knew all along, that books exist for pleasure, for joy, for consolation and comfort, for courage, for showing us that others have been here before, have seen what we see, felt what we feel, shared needs and wants and dreams we think belong only to us, that

Photograph of Helen Keller at age 8 with her t...

Photograph of Helen Keller at age 8 with her tutor Anne Sullivan on vacation in Brewster, Cape Cod, Massachusetts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

everything the earth is full of… everything on it that’s ours for a wink and it’s gone, and what we are on it, the—light we bring to it and leave behind in—words, why, you can see five thousand years back in a light of words, everything we feel, think, know—and share, in words, so not a soul is in darkness, or done with, even in the grave.

And about the time you have settled the question to your satisfaction, the twenty pounds of Jello slides off, and you turn over, and he stretches out and leans so firmly against your back that you end up wedged between him and your husband, who is now clinging to the edge of  the bed, as sound asleep as the Jello is, and as you’re considering your options, you think,

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
   In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
   Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
   And sang to a small guitar…

and by the time the Pussycat and the Elegant Fowl have been married by the Turkey who lives on the hill, and have eaten their wedding breakfast with a runcible spoon, and are dancing by the light of the moon, the moon, you’ve decided that a turned brain has its advantages, and that re-hinging will never be an option.

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20 pounds of cat. © Kathy Waller

20 pounds of cat. © Kathy Waller

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http://nfs.sparknotes.com/macbeth/page_58.html
https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1315.Louisa_May_Alcott
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171941
http://www.vintagechildrensbooksmykidloves.com/2009/06/angus-and-cat.html
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/182477
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epithets_in_Homer
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